As many of you will know, I have had a few really bad weeks on this new way of living. My diet has been awful and exercise has been almost non-existent! I've said a couple of times that I was drawing a new line and restarting, but never really did. The problem was my head, it just wasn't in the right place. However, during the last week, I've gradually realised what I want. Although I haven't put on loads of weight (about 5lbs), my clothes felt tighter and I could see it in my face and on my stomach. I hated the way I felt and looked and I knew I don't want to go back to the way I was once before.

Yesterday really was my new beginning and I've had a good couple of days. I've stuck to my calories and I've exercised and I remembered just how good I feel when both of those things are being done. My head seems to be back where I want it (metophorically of course!) and my determination has also returned.

Hopefully, this will be the last entry which says I'm trying again. I know there will be days when things don't go as planned, but I don't intend for there to be whole weeks of it! :)

Just thought I'd put a couple of photos of my grandchildren on here

The older one is Taylor-Ann, who is now almost 5 months old. She is scrumptious. She's already crawling and has a real mind of her own. But she makes me laugh so much. The baby boy is Riley, who was born on the 9th September. He is so sweet and he looks just like a little old man. I am a very lucky woman.

You may have noticed that it's been a long time since I blogged about how things were going - the reason for this is because they have been going dreadfully!

I was really shaken to the core by my shopping experience and I've been wobbly ever since. I really thought I had this losing weight malarky sorted (silly, I know) and was confident that the new way of eating and exercising was now a way of life. However the past 3 weeks have shown me that I was wrong. I've put on a few pounds, but more than that, I've lost momentum. I keep saying to myself, "start again" and then choose to stuff myself stupid on rubbish instead. I've been eating sweets as though there is no tomorrow and I've even begun to drink full-sugar coke again!

Tomorrow though, I'm starting again properly. Tonight I am going to cook some food for my lunch tomorrow and Tuesday, as lunch is one of my downfalls and then I am going to speak to my daughter who, because she is not currently working, is the main cook in our house and make sure that she either cooks my food without all the extra fat and sauces she is so fond of, or that she lets me know that what she is cooking is not suitable for me so I can plan what to cook instead.

I've got into the habit of popping into the newsagents at Clapham Junction Station and buying a bottle of water and a bag of skittles every evening on the way home and so I will now make sure that I fill my water bottle up before I leave school and I'm not going to take money to work so that I can't buy rubbish on the way home. If I don't have money on me I will also have to walk home from the station which will mean that I get some exercise and save £25 a week whoo hoo.

Wish me luck - I really need it. I'm not sure that I can do it again, but I am so going to try.

My daughter Natalie, me and Charlie, my soon to be daughter-in-law

At midnight 5th Sept, my daughter, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law and I joined 3 of my daughter's friends on this walk.

It was a brilliant night. We soon broke up into two groups as myself, my daughter Natalie and my sister-in-law, Val walked much faster than the others.

I felt such a sense of achievement, when you consider that in February I walked 2 miles on 2 consecutive days and then couldn't go to work the following day as my ankle and foot was so swollen, it's amazing how much fitter I am now.

I was really proud of my girls - especially Val, as she had not walked more than 5 miles before. Val is the person who inspired me to lose weight this year as she lost 4 stone last year.

If any of you live near enough and would like to join us next year just let me know (and in fact, if you don't live near, but want to stay over at mine, you are very welcome to and we would love to have you)